But... for right now, at least, I'm talking about "serious" personal ads and some things I've encountered that leave me scratching my head.
First, let me fully admit that I DO have an active personal ad. It DOES generate a lot of traffic. And I HAVE gone out with some guys I've met from there. Kissed a couple of frogs, and a couple of princes. I don't mean the "... and they all lived happily ever after" prince. Just... not a frog, prince. I'm REALLY not looking for anything in a hurry (and you KNOW this is when it'll happen. It always happens when I've vowed that it won't). I have really slowed my roll and am just enjoying the dating part. Everything's honest. Out in the open. Before it gets *too* serious, I do ask that we at least commit to being "off the market" for now. Not asking for a ring on my finger, but I think what I'm asking isn't much and I've not had even one guy give me flack about it. Actually, it's getting pretty heavy with the latest one, and I do need to have "the talk" to clarify that we aren't seeing other people. If he wants to see other people, then he doesn't need to be wasting his time seeing me. That's all.
Anyway... some things that made me go "Hrmmm". Or "Hahahahahah!"
1.) If you message me, and all you say is "You're so hot" (or worse... "UR SO HOTT"), then really, please don't sit there expecting a reply. Hell will freeze over first. My profile gives you PLENTY of things you can throw in there. I'm glad you think I'm hot, which by the way, only has 1 "t" at the end. But c'mon... come up with just ONE more sentence and I may reply.
2.) The horrible misspellings. I understand. We ALL make typos. Hell we all make blatant spelling errors (thank heavens for firefox, because it catches mine), but when you don't know the difference between threw/through, know/no... I feel like I'm grading papers and I get too distracted to know what you're saying.
3.) You won't believe me on this one, but I promise it's true, and I'm telling you anyway. The site I'm on "encourages" these men (yes, they coach them on "safe" topics and "not safe" topics) to discuss where they'd like to take me on our first date. I have gotten no less than 40 different men who want to "take me to the beach and just walk along the water, looking up at the stars". Ummm, the last time I checked, Arkansas was a landlocked state. The nearest beach is 10 hours away in Gulfport, MS. Are we really going to drive 10 hours for our first date? That's a LOT of uncomfortable silence if we don't hit it off, Dude. Anyway, I know they're just trying to sound romantic, but *maybe* they ought to think it through more before coming up with these little gems.
4.) Pet peeve I didn't know I had until being on a dating site. I know I'm old fashioned, in the fact that I love that there are "women's roles" and "men's roles" and I fully support that. I don't mind people that DON'T. But I'm old fashioned like that. However... this drives me nuts. Ok, I live in a VERY small town with nothing to do. THEY KNOW THIS. And if they DON'T know this, when we start talking about a date, I TELL THEM this. I apologize for the lack of entertainment, etc. Sometimes, depending on the guy, I'll offer to drive halfway.
Peeve: I have had SO MANY men who just casually say, "Well hey, drive up/down here to my place (always about a 3 hour drive and I drive a not so reliable car) and you can spend the night here and we'll like, hang out and stuff. Now... I always make it CLEAR with these men that there won't be any sex, so they know that isn't gonna happen. But I just think it's SO RUDE, ESPECIALLY on a first date to expect the girl to do ALL the driving?! YOU asked ME out. YOU are the man. Freaking suck it up and deal with my podunk town for once. Maybe NEXT time, I will drive to your house and we'll hang out. I did have one man offer to come get me and TAKE me to his house, but that worried me too. What if we didn't get along? What if he scared me? I'd be 3 hours away and have NO car. I don't think that's a good idea. Anyway, I am proud to report that there ARE still gentlemen in this world who wouldn't DREAM of having me drive on ANY dates and they deal with my ridiculous little town with it's nothing to do.
5.) There's a place to check your body type. Since when did "average" become "morbidly obese"? I have no issue with your weight. But BE HONEST about it. I can't stand lies. I knew girls did it all the time, but guys? C'mon and man up, men! Embrace every lb you have and just be honest. It's not like I won't see it if we DO have a date. Are you gonna wear a Spanx??
6.) 45 can look like 60 or it can look like 35. It's AMAZING to me the differences between 45s. I've seen 37s that look old enough to be my grandfather. And been asked out by 25 year olds. C'mon guys... let's pull it together! My favorite was a 65 year old man who told me that he realized he was a little older than me, but that I should give him a chance because he's "young at heart". Ok... I'm a very young 39. So you'd have to be like... dipped in the fountain of youth for this to work out. EVER. And besides... that's right at my mama's age. Ask HER out instead. There's no WAY I'd go over 45.
7.) They say what the men are looking for. I love the 45 year olds that are looking for girls that are 20 to 39. Um, YOU are 45. What's wrong with a 45 year old woman? Also... what the HELL are you gonna do with a 20 year old?? That's just a baby! Yuck! I mean, I definitely prefer younger men, or at least men whose ages have held up very well... good body, lots of working out (hypocrite, I know... I don't work out EVER, but my body's in good shape at least), face that isn't as wrinkled as a Shar Pei... things like that. I like em youngish. But 20?!?! That's a line even *I* wouldn't cross. In fact, it's so far from MY line, it isn't even funny.
Anyway, like I said, right now it's just enjoying the moment. Until somebody asks me to kick it up a notch commitment-wise, I'm just going to enjoy the dating. I don't see anything wrong with that, and I never really got to DO that, so I *am* enjoying it. I'm always honest with them. They know if I'm seeing other people.
I have a feeling though... and call it womens intuition or whatever you like... that I'm going to be doing just fine with this "dating" plan, when VERY soon a man is going to come along and just totally sweep me off my feet and want to buckle down into a commited family type relationship asap. I pinky swear that I will not jump headfirst into something I don't know about. Everybody will be checked out thoroughly and even approved (or disapproved) by my friends. Not that my friends get the final say... but they certainly get to HAVE some say and to genuinely have my full attention and consideration for what they have to say about the situation.
Love is a battlefield. That should totally be a song. Oh wait! It is. ;)
1 comments:
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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